sugar coated rants

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never

The clock says it's 2:44 am. I shut down my laptop 15 minutes ago after finishing a few episodes of Life Unexpected. Tired and sleepy, I lie down and close my eyes preparing myself for a journey to dreamland. Unsaid by Lala feat. Christian Bautista is playing on the background and suddenly I find myself crying.. in silence. Tears started flowing and it just won't stop. Some thoughts just popped up. I turn on the laptop and here I am.. As much as i wanted to ignore the feeling, I can't. I felt rejected and taken for granted by some people so close to my heart right before I decided to call it a night. Unusual. All of a sudden, it's like that? Or maybe it's just me? It's me who gotten used to the feeling of being important. And now, I suddenly felt I was "ignored". For real, I mean..it happened before but it didn't felt like this.Or again, maybe it's just me. It's been a while since I stayed up late like this..and for nothing for that mat

What if this is not for me? What if I'm just deluding myself that this is what I want? What if I don't belong anymore? I was asked, " Is the fire still burning?" And I said, "Yes. " Now, I'm having second thoughts.

...or so.

Yesterday could've been perfect if not for the bad news I received last night. And today, doesn't make any difference.Bad news,it's all over the place. I can almost hear GG on the background saying.... " because in the Upper East Side, the good times never last forever.XOXO" Then i remember, i'm not in the Upper East Side.So maybe then, good times could last forever? You wish, Sugar. I hate it when everything happens all at the same time. I'm not a superwoman and i can only do so much. Dealing with frustration and desperation is not my cup of tea . And never will it be.Its hard to lift my spirit up when everytime i try, something is happening that pulls me down. I'm not losing hope... just getting tired each day.

I woke up today with a smile on my face as i uttered my morning prayer and thanked God for a new day. First day of March. My favorite month of the year. Not just because it's my birth month, but because there are so much memories associated with it. And of course, my closest friends' birthday falls on March, too. February ended in a not so pleasant way yesterday, unfortunately. As much as i wanted not to get affected..i am. But today is the first day of March. I'm supposed to be happy and excited. So it's MINDSET: ON.